$1 Billion Movies Ranked: Part 1
In 2023 two movies joined the $1 billion club with The Super Mario Bros Movie and Barbie. So today I’m going to be ranking all 52 of the $1 billion movies ranked. This is part 1 of that ranking, part 2 drops tomorrow. Let’s get started!
53. Minions: A lame movie that purely exists for being a cash grab. And since it made over $1 billion, it was very successful at being a cash grab. This movie simply doesn’t work for me and the big problem with it is promoting the Minions to the leads. The Minions are designed to be spice characters, you put them as side characters in Despicable Me characters they’re great. Making them leads doesn’t work. They don’t even speak a language that its audience can understand, they’re not supposed to grow and change in the film. So it is a movie that is hurt by existing purely to make money.
52. Transformers: Age of Extinction: This is sort of where I found the Michael Bay era of Transformers movies to really go down hill. This is easily the weakest film of the franchise…and that’s saying a lot. This movie is just around 2 hours and 40 minutes long, but it doesn't have a plot to it. It’s just a string of things happening without a clear story tieing any of them together. The worst part is they do more explaining why it’s ok for a 25 year old man to be dating a 17 year old then explaining what the actual plot of the movie is. This movie simply doesn’t work and it’s a bad movie, I’m sorry…but it is.
51. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: I feel like this movie has the same issue that Minions has. I don’t think promoting Jack Sparrow to the lead was the best idea. Jack Sparrow is a character who you don’t want to see grow and change, the fact he is so weird is what makes him so much fun. But here, trying to humanize with him and show us his backstory detracts a lot of the enjoyment of the character. Beyond that, none of the new characters with Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane as Blackbeard are memorable. And the movie as a whole is so forgettable, I don’t really remember anything that happens inside of it.
50. Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker: A movie that feels like a victim of Disney and Lucasfilm not having a plan for this trilogy. After the polarizing response to The Last Jedi, they used this movie to course correct and feel like The Force Awakens. But that’s really what the movie feels like, a movie that was trying to win back fans that they burned in The Last Jedi. So Palpatine’s return comes out of nowhere, a lot of the moments fall incredibly hollow, and it doesn’t provide a satisfying conclusion to The Skywalker Saga. It’s a shame because I think the cast really does deserve a better trilogy of movies.
49. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace: A movie that has a very clear plot and structure to it, but is hurt by bad CGI and Jar Jar Binks. The fact that a lot of this movie was shot on green screen shows, the movie looks incredibly fake. From there, Jar Jar Binks and all of this potty humor really doesn’t work in Star Wars. And the pacing is all off on this movie with lots of action mixed with senate hearings that take up almost the entire middle act of the film. What makes me elevate this one above The Rise of Skywalker is I feel like it’s more focused with the story and it has great performances from Liam Nesson and Ewan McGregor.
48. The Lion King (2019): A movie that was fun to see on the big screen with how fantastic it looks. It provided a great cinematic experience that one time, but I’ve had no desire to go back and watch this movie. It feels like a bland rehash of the 1994 movie. It’s a perfect example of a movie that I wouldn’t watch because I have the original to go and watch for the 100th time. There are some fun moments with Timon and Pumbaa. The source material of The Lion King is great, there’s a lot of Shakespearean elements that make it a very rich movie. As much as I love the animated movie, I don’t think it fully lends itself to being done in live action.
47. Alice in Wonderland (2010): I hadn’t seen this movie before watching it for this blog post. I went in not sure what to expect. I’d heard so many different thoughts and feelings, now watching the film I thought it was fine. Tim Burton brings his directing style to this movie. In a sense, Tim Burton’s style should mix very well with Alice in Wonderland and the weirdness of it. With those elements, I think the film works well. But, this is such a departure from the classic whimsicalness of Lewis Carroll’s original novel. It takes everything that makes Alice In Wonderland fun and replaces it with being a blockbuster filled with action. I don’t think the pieces of the movie fully come together in the end.
46. Despicable Me 3: I feel like after the first film, the franchise struggled with what to do next. The fun of the first film was seeing this villain turn into an adoptive father and a good person. After that, I’m not sure what’s next and I feel like this movie proves that. Introducing Gru’s brother into the mix is fun, but I don’t know if it adds anything to Gru’s arc or the franchise as a whole. The villain being an 80s child star is a fun idea, he’s certainly a villain that you remember. There’s some fun moments in here, this Despicable Me franchise certainly is fun. But it’s not as memorable as I would hope. Like I said earlier, I feel like this is where they couldn’t figure out the next step for the Despicable Me franchise. Overall, this movie is fine but it’s not great either.
45. Transformers: Dark of the Moon: This is one of the better Michael Bay Transformers movies…granted that’s not a super high bar but it is worth mentioning. This movie has an interesting set-up for the Transformer movie, I like how they tie in the 1969 moon landing into the plot. You get some fun new characters with Patrick Dempsey and Leonard Nemoy’s. And the final battle in Chicago is pretty incredible, it’s easily the best and most memorable finale of the franchise. This movie still has some of the issues of the other films, where it has a bloated run time with elements that you don’t really care about.
44. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom: I know this movie isn’t a fan favorite amongst Jurassic World fans, I don’t think it’s fantastic. But it’s not as bad as people make it out to be. I got the fun I wanted from this movie, you get dinosaurs eating people with Chris Pratt in the lead. I think this movie does a better job with the Owen and Claire dynamic, they’re more believable as a couple. The director is good with thrills, so there’s some memorable sequences in here. I think the movie introduces some ideas that aren’t explored enough, human cloning I don’t think is a good direction for this franchise.
43. Jurassic World: Dominion: Another movie that people like to throw hate at, fair enough. There’s a lot of reasons why people are rightfully disappointed with this film. But this is a fun movie that I had a really good time with. I loved getting to see the original cast come back, they elevate the entire movie here. They really put the “world” in JURASSIC WORLD. It’s the biggest film of the entire franchise. I think the direction they went with farming and locusts wasn’t the best. I think it hurt the film as a whole, our returning legacy characters feel like side characters. But overall, this provided a fun experience and I got the fun and stupidity I wanted.
42. Beauty and the Beast (2017): Another live action remake that I have no desire to go back and rewatch. The original animated film is one of the greatest animated movies ever made, and one of the greatest movies ever made. And this movie doesn’t provide anything that the animated film doesn’t already offer. The production design here is well done, you can tell they had a big budget for this movie. Emma Watson as Belle is solid casting, I like what she brought to the role. But with most of these live action remakes, it doesn’t provide anything new.
41. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: I’m not a massive Middle Earth fan, I don’t love any of the films. So I’m not as negative on this film as other people are. I think it does have big sweeping action, there’s several sequences in here that are memorable and stick with you. The casting here is actually pretty good, I think the actors they got fit their roles rather well. The problem with this entire trilogy is they took a short book and stretched it over three movies, so this movie feels stretched out from beginning to end. It can interrupt the pacing when every sequence is minutes longer then they should have been.
40. Finding Dory: In a lot of ways, this movie has the same criticism that the Disney live action remakes does. Where Beauty and the Beast (2017) and The Lion King (2019) both provide the same experience as their original animated movies. This movie provides the same experience as Finding Nemo, but not as good. So if I want this type of adventure with Nemo, Merlin and Dory I’ll always pick Finding Nemo over Finding Dory. This movie isn’t bad, it’s watchable with some big Pixar emotions. And some of the new characters are fun and charming. But it’s not a Pixar film that I want to go back and explore that much.
39. Frozen II: I know a lot of people really liked this film, some people prefer it over the original film. I’ve been that way, I’ve seen the film a couple of times now but it’s one that I fully appreciate. The thing about this movie, I can’t exactly say why I don’t like the movie more. There’s not a specific plot point or character that holds the film back, it’s just a movie that I’ve never connected with. The songs aren’t as memorable, there aren't as memorable sequences as in the first film. The story has some interesting twists and turns that I think make Elsa a better character. But as a whole, it’s not one that I love and go back to.
38. Captain Marvel: Another movie that I’ve never quite understood the hate for. Now it’s not fantastic, I don’t think it's a top tier MCU. But I think some of the hate is overstated. What I like about this movie is seeing the MCU in a different decade. We’re so used to seeing the MCU in the present day but seeing it in the 90s is a lot of fun. There’s a bunch of references to 90s stores that are just fun. With being set in the past, that means we’re able to see a younger Nick Fury. The dynamic between Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson is a lot of fun. The villain I don’t think is super memorable, and parts of the story don’t make much sense. Like I said, it’s not fantastic but it’s a solid film.
37. Spider-Man: Far From Home: A film that I’ve always had such complicated feelings on. There’s a lot in here that I really like, it’s an entertaining film with a fun cast and some unique visuals. The Mysterio dream sequence here is handled very well. Tom Holland is of course a lot of fun here, he’s a great Spider-Man. Mysterio and his plan has always been one of the weaker elements for me. I like the idea of Mysterio, what his plan is and how it’s revealed does NOT work for me. The movie doesn’t work as well after we learn what Mysterio has been up to. I think the movie had the pieces to be up there with Homecoming and No Way Home for me, but makes some choices that hold it back.
36. The Super Mario Bros Movie: The second highest grossing movie of 2023 and it’s a movie that is very fun. The best thing about the movie is they got the look and feel of Super Mario right. The way the characters are characterized, the way they look, all of it feels like a video game brought to life. We get Mario Kart sequence in here, they use all of the different worlds of Super Mario rather well in here. There’s a nice sense of humor thrown in here, a lot of the jokes did make me laugh. I think the film suffers a bit from relying too much on the tropes of the animated genre. Where we have a star studded cast and popular and overused songs. All of it is stuff we’ve seen in previous animated movies.
35. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest: The best of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels. It’s fun to get more in this world, they created a fun world of Pirates in the first film and you want more from it. Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow is great casting, he’s so fun and so weird. There’s a lot of really iconic sequences in the film, mainly the opening and the finale. Both of them stick with you after watching the film. I think this film and At World’s End have the same issue, they want to be big and epic. They went too big with the story and they brought back every side character and in some cases, didn’t make sense for them to come back. So the film is longer than it needs to be. But overall, I think this is a solid and entertaining movie.
34. Avatar (2009): The highest grossing movie of all time. However, this is a true spectacle to look at, it’s crazy this film is 15 years old and looks better then some 2023 & 2024 blockbusters. James Cameron makes movies that are worth seeing on the big screen. He’s great with the world building and creating Pandora, this place you want to see more of. The big criticism of this film is the story is very thin and straight forward, it’s a story template that’s been done many times before and done better. I wish the story and characters were as good as the visuals and world building were.
33. Iron Man 3: This seems to be a polarizing MCU film. For me, I’ve always liked this movie and think it’s a pretty entertaining film. Shane Black can write very witty dialogue that goes perfectly with Robert Downey Jr’s comedic timing. So there’s a lot of really funny lines in here, I love when he’s teamed up with the kid for the middle act of the film. And this movie features some of the best Iron Man action of the entire MCU. I think the villains here aren’t strong, I appreciate the twist more than I actually enjoyed it. They traded Ben Kingsley’s great and intimidating Mandarin for Guy Perace’s less intimidating and more generic villain.
32. Avengers: Age of Ultron:This movie delivers all of the character banter you want, big action, humor, and heart you want from an MCU. A lot of the best aspects of this film are just as good as the best aspects of the first film. It’s so much fun to see all of our Avengers together and banter back and forth with each other. You get a lot of big action set pieces, each sequence is memorable with what our characters are doing or the environment. However, this is a movie where I think they tried a few too many things and they went bigger with the story but made it 1 minute shorter then the first film. I think this film easily could have been 10-15 minutes longer to make things flow better.
31. Jurassic World: A big dumb continuation of the original trilogy of movies. It’s not as groundbreaking and wow inducing as the original film. But it delivers a really fun new entry in the Jurassic Park/World franchise. We get plenty of dinosaur carnage and mayhem all through-out the film, it’s always fun to see dinosaurs eating people. Chris Pratt is a lot of fun here, he leans into his back of tricks really well with this movie. This came out when Chris Pratt was in his prime, his first big movie after Guardians of the Galaxy. The finale has Pratt teaming up with velociraptors to battle this genetically hybrid new dinosaur, it’s dumb but it’s a dumb kind of fun.
30. The Fate of the Furious: For a lot of people, this is where the Fast and Furious went down hill. After the death of Paul Walker, people viewed the rest of the films as cash grabs. Maybe they are just cash grabs, I still have a blast watching them. They’re big dumb blockbusters, but they’re big dumb blockbusters that I enjoy watching. This movie started the dynamic between Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham that led to Hobbs and Shaw being released. They’re just so much fun together, the funniest moments are the ones between the two of them. I do think the film has some tone issues, it goes from a big dumb blockbuster to a mother being killed in front of baby son. Dark stuff that feels out of place with the rest of the film.
29. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: I absolutely love the Wizarding World, mainly the Harry Potter movies and this was a great kick off to this universe. The movie has fantastic world building, where you’re just amazed and wowed by this world of wizards and witches. It’s a world that you want to see more in. The way it's designed and how weird this world is presented is one that is so enjoyable to be in. John Williams’ score is fantastic just filling everything out, it’s one of John Williams’ best scores. Some of the CGI doesn’t hold-up and our child actors are a bit weak at points. But overall, this is still a great entry point for the Wizarding World.
28. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story:A very different type of Star Wars movie, but a Star Wars movie that really works for what it’s going for. This movie puts the war in Star Wars, where it puts you in the middle. It’s such a great idea for Star Wars, taking a couple lines of dialogue from the beginning of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope and turning it into a movie and it worked really well. The Darth Vader sequence is fantastic, it’s the version of Darth Vader that we want and they had a 21st century budget to pull it off. You can criticize the characters for not being super interesting, that’s fair. I think Andor made Cassian Andor a better character and I think it made this movie better.
27. Aquaman: A big dumb blockbuster that knows it’s big and dumb therefore it’s a very entertaining movie. It’s not trying to be a movie that is exploring these deep philosophical ideas about life and death. They knew that Aquaman was inherently a campy character and they played into that really well. For this version of Aquaman, Jason Momoa is perfectly cast. They designed Aquaman to be this bro with superpowers, this guy that goes to bars and gets in trouble. The bravado that Momoa brings fits perfectly. James Wan is great with shooting the action, he loses wide takes so you can see everything that is happening. It’s not fantastic, it’s not a top tier DC movie, however it’s the highest grossing DC movie of all time.
26. Star Wars Episode VII: The Last Jedi: No matter where I place this movie on a ranking people are going to get mad at me. For me, I’ve always liked this movie and appreciate the ambition that Rian Johnson went off. He tried something different and for the most part I enjoyed what Johnson gave us. The movie has a lot of great sequences, the throne room sequence being the big one to talk about. The color pallet for the entire film is great, it looks fantastic. This is the best looking Star Wars movie we’ve gotten. Mark Hamill gives a career best performance, he’s able to play this broken version of Luke so well. I know a lot of people really don’t like this movie, I get that, I like the movie.
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